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  • Writer's pictureFrank Victoria

The Golden Years Redux

Whoever came up with the term “The Golden Years” was not over sixty. In fact, the way you can tell people are old is that whenever they meet a friend the first thing they talk about is their medical condition.

A few quick senior citizen (or what we used to call old people) gags:

What is a prize old people can win for aging?Atrophy.

What’s the best part of old age?That it doesn’t last very long.

These are not gray hairs! They are wisdom highlights.

Which underwear brand do seniors love best? Depends.

These are not gray hairs! They are wisdom highlights.

This I know for our Golden Years: One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t remember them! And now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck … my knees, my back, my neck ….

How about you?

And a few songs for the old folks. If you’re under sixty, you might not understand this. Those of us post 60, we live them!

Let’s Get Physicals

Ain’t no burrito mild enough

A Hard Days’ Nap

Who Left the Milk Out?

The Long and Winding Eyebrows

The Long and Winding Nose Hair

The Long and Winding Ear Wax


I Can’t See Clearly Now

Moany Moany

Knock Knock Knockin on the Bathroom Door

To All the Girls I Disappointed Before

Rock Me Gently – Dammit

Achy Breaky Hip

Groovy Kind of Love Handles

I Had the BM of My Life

Stair-lift to Heaven

Y.M.C. eh

Waking Up is Hard to Do

Getting Up is Hard to Do


What say you? How are your Golden Years flowing?


Frank Victoria is an award-winning author and screenwriter. He’s been an Amazon bestseller with his recent book,The Founders’ Plot, a political thriller for our times. He donates proceeds of his books to Tunnels to Towers and Fisher House, helping military veterans and first responders. His novella,The Ultimate Bet is available on his website and Amazon. Check out his new website:Frank M. Victoria

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